Too Fast For Freedom

Thanks for tuning in for another installment of Giselle’s Journey where I’ll be unpacking my experience as a trans woman alongside my travels and my everyday life. As I transition from the life I’ve known since birth to the more affirming existence I am cultivating these days, I’ve come across more trials than anticipated. While I expected to draw looks in certain settings, places where I’d expected maybe a warmer reception have also been fraught with sidelong glances and mumbled comments. I’m no stranger to less than desirable attention, but the uptick I’ve experienced since beginning to openly identify as a woman certainly has triggered my urge to run and hide from life’s problems. While my problems may make me want to take flight, I’m not someone who truly runs away when faced with adversity.

Mulling over a problem and burning through some anxious energy on a run grounds me and guides me when I’m unsure or upset. A playlist heavy on Florence + The Machine is my preferred soundtrack when it comes to running. I find it incredibly empowering to learn from the poetry of others, and how they conquered their adversities while grappling with my own. When my fight or flight is triggered, is it bad that I maybe want to take flight for a bit while I sort through how to best stand my ground?

The first time I ran in my Vai Athletica utility bra, I was so relieved to finally be able to let my music carry me away without having to hold my phone the whole time. What started as my first run in months, ended up being a three-mile effort around the park by my house. While I sometimes let my anxiety get the best of me, I prefer to lose myself in my music and get carried away by the beat. With the convenient placement of Vai’s phone holding straps, I can have music to my ears even when I can’t find my headphones. 

Thank you to Florence Welch and all the wisdom she and her machine convey through their music. I would have never been able to run for 45 minutes that day without the siren sound of her voice encouraging me to run “too fast for freedom.” This seemingly paradoxical lyric from the band’s song, “Delilah”, has always launched me deeper into my run, chasing the ever-elusive runner’s high. While I can always rely on music to be the wind beneath my wings carrying through a long run, not having to contend with my phone and keys in the process is a gamechanger. My Via Athletica bra has quickly become a running staple, supporting me and my adventurous spirit in all the right places.