Finding The Fit

One of the things I’ve found most interesting as I become not only more comfortable in my own skin, body, and presence, is how much I let external insecurity shape my view of myself. Over the past few years, several friends or acquaintances have remarked that they admire the way they see me living my best life or being my authentic self. That has, in some way, inspired them to be a better, more honest version of themselves. That generally feels pretty good. Whether that truly was me being my most authentic self or just projecting the version of myself I wanted so desperately to be but was terrified to truly authentically embody I’m not sure. 

I’ve always thrived on external praise because, despite being fiercely independent, I’ve always cared about what others think of me. So I try so eagerly to please those around me. That’s why coming out as a trans woman has been so hard for me to do. I’ve struggled so immensely to remain independent that it felt nearly impossible to let someone help me discover my greatest insight in life: my feminine intuition, voice, and femininity. They have always been one in the same.

Due to how isolated I felt in my own body, it took isolating myself from the day-to-day world to find myself. It took isolating myself in various reaches of the world, fully immersed in unfamiliar spaces, having checked my literal and metaphorical baggage, that I was able to truly find myself. As I prepare to share my coming out story with the world I realized that, since I was able to find myself through travel, the best way to share that journey is by telling the stories I’ve collected. They are the most valuable souvenirs from my journeys. 

I hope you’re all as excited as I am to join me on this journey as I am to share it with you. So please return your tray tables to their full, upright, and locked positions and prepare for take-off. 

Long before I realized I was a trans woman, I noticed some of my day-to-day activities would be far more comfortable with a little extra support in the chest area. As a naturally heavyset individual with a passion for running, I’ve long admired women running in sports bras while I either grappled with chafing issues under a shirt or too much floppage when I ran shirtless. Despite years of gender-bending fashion tendencies, I never pulled the trigger on any sort of bra, sporty or otherwise, because I was a bit embarrassed to admit I needed one. 

As someone who presents rather masculine, wearing skirts and dresses designed for women was one thing, but the thought of going into a store and looking at bras or trying them on around other women was far more intimidating. So I turned to online retailers to hopefully find a sports bra that fit me right. My lifelong love of Beyoncé drove me to her IVY Park collaborations with Adidas, where I ended up purchasing multiple different sports bras only to find each fit me very differently–even when ordered in the same size. I’m sure they were designed to be comfortable, but on my body, they ended up being too tight across my ribcage for truly extended wear. Certainly stylish enough for looking cute and showing off some tummy, but not something I’d ever really want to run in. And definitely not something I’d put on to make myself more comfortable.

A good friend of mine has been wearing Vai Athletica’s Utility Sports Bras for a while now, and every time we are together, she ends up casually plugging the bra to me just because she had found them so comfortable and loved the ease and accessibility of the multiple pockets and phone straps. When we were experiencing the magic of Walt Disney World, my friend again started talking about her Vai bra, and I finally had the courage to ask her if I could try on her bra to see how it fit me. 

The fit and feel of Vai’s Utility Sport was like night and day to everything else I’ve previously tried. The elastic band at the bottom was secure without straining against my ribcage, the armholes weren’t digging into my armpits, and the bra that was sized large enough to fit me didn’t come with excessive padding that gave me an artificially larger chest. I felt very secure and I was so excited about the fit, I quite literally could not wait to run in my own Vai Athletica Sports Bra. In my excitement, I threw on the skirt I’d packed for the trip and had my friend snap a picture of me looking adorable in this bra that I was so excited to own for myself. While I may have not been the target market for Vai Athletica’s Utility Sports Bra, I have found some much-needed support therein and can’t sing enough praises for how great that feels. If you’re seeking some additional support use the code “thanx4reading” at checkout to save 25% when you give Vai a try.

Thank You For Reading

Giselle